Studio Diary February 7th, 2008

Wednesday 9pm... Lifehouse music is bathing the office where I usually do my myspace... My friends are typing, answering messages and comments... dedicating so much of their time, energy, love, and even health to take care of YFE communities all over the world... Outside it's cold and the snow has stopped for the night... And I am here, writing this diary thinking of all of you out there, so far but so close at the same time... I'm thinking of how I can make you feel what is happening here, in your YFE family... How I can describe well enough the reality that unites us instead of trying to portrait a dreamed rock star life that would set us apart... I'm trying to get, from the depth of my soul, the essence of what I need to be and to say for you... for you only... I'm a spokesperson for those here who are loving you so bad... the guys in the band of course but also all the others here that you saw in pictures or in some videos... these people that are in charge of taking care of you everyday and of extending the YFE family love to all cultures in all countries... Not so easy to do...

But tonight, once again, I had in front of my eyes the proof that their work, our work, our passion and love to reach out to those out there who need to be encouraged, loved, listened to, believed in and all that through music really had an impact. I was going to an album launch party joining some of the guys. As I arrived I saw these two beautiful Japanese girls who came to visit YFE... And as I was introducing myself... even if they already knew me... lol... I thought how amazing this moment was. I felt very lucky to meet them and so humbled before their courage and passion to travel the whole world to visit their favorite band. I don't even think I would do that personally!lol... Curious, I asked them to explain what motivated them to come here...

"I travel a lot and I couldn't decide where to go this time... Montreal is one of the places I wanted to go... I like music and since Alex was talking to me so nicely on myspace I felt like I wanted to meet the band... I have a lot of bands as friends on myspace but when I write to them they might reply once or twice... but YFE ALWAYS comments back, that's nice... the band is really cool...

At first I thought that the band was answering all these messages only for business, to get more fans... but when I got here, at the Montreal airport and saw they were waiting for us... Really I didn't expect that! My friend and I were so surprised we couldn't speak... so happy! But with YB's camera in our face we were thinking "oh no my hair and my tired face!!!"... lol... Then they were tour guides all day even though they were tired... that is not business...

We were very excited to see YFE, we couldn't sleep on the plane... the band is more amazing than what we expected... I never met people like you guys... you are so nice...

The most amazing thing is your personality... If a band plays good music but they have a bad attitude I don't like them much... but YFE has good music and good personalities so it's perfect! Everyone is kind and the guys are so respectful. I feel very comfortable in the YFE affection... I like it... I can feel the love, I want that to come to Japan! Please export some YFE love to Japan! You have many fans in Japan waiting for you!

I never expected that YFE would comment back every time... it touched my heart very deeply... I got the EP and I saw the band was amazing... I'm happy to know the band... Now, I'm so proud to be here and this is my best experience ever!"

Jeff was driving us back to the studio from downtown Montreal and cradled by the new Thrice album, I was watching the two girls falling asleep... They were exhausted by 16 hours of plane... I told the one next to me to lay her head on my shoulder... I had this tremendous feeling of happiness... I felt like I wanted to take care of them, be there for them, let them feel they could trust my love... I am so imperfect and often I hurt others when I let my fears and selfishness lead me... But here in this car, with my two Japanese sisters sleepily gazing at the snowed up landscape, there was no fear... no selfishness... nothing to prevent me from being myself and I was happy to see what I can be... happy to see and feel all the love I'm able to give and how I can be there for others in simple but magic moments... That made me happy! I often doubted myself... would I ever be able to love properly, would I have the right heart, would I be able to stop being selfish, would I be able to make the right decisions to be there for others, would I one day be proud of me fully... And tonight I saw in the most beautiful almond eyes that I could stop hesitating... and just BE...