The lonely star of Christmas
My dear YFE sisters and brothers,
It's the Holiday season and when I look around I'm not sure I relate with what I see. Christmas is sold to me as the magical moment of the year when friendship culminates into a beautiful communion, when lovers just can't get enough of each other and when families are in total harmony, celebrating a whole year of support and joy... MAN! Am I the only one that doesn't fit with this portrait? For so many people, Christmas is just another mirror reflecting a reality you don't want to admit: your family is broken...your couple doesn't fill the everlasting affective black hole... your friends could give up on you anytime...and so often this year you got deceived and disappointed by someone real close to you : yourself... "Joy to the world!"... But once the wrappings are in garbage bags and once the alcohol has become an aftertaste, is there any joy left? What if joy didn't reside in the party? What if you didn't have to create happiness with a recipe including many measures of alcohol, a sprinkle of drugs, an ounce of cheap romance and reserving plenty of old shadows in dark closets?
What if joy could REALLY abide in you? This year it's different for me... For the first time I don't force myself to go to reunions where I don't feel good... I don't even get into the shopping craziness trying to get the perfect useless present proving I don't know what for someone who really doesn't care all that much while tons of stressed and unhappy people step on my heels to get the last gadget on the shelf... You know what? I don't miss it!lol This Christmas will be different for me because the past year has been different. I made decisions this year... I decided to stop patterns in my life, patterns of being a victim, patterns of trying to please everyone not to have to deal with confrontation, patterns of trusting no one not to be hurt, patterns of trying to control everything... Don't get me wrong, I'm still fighting all these and more as I open my eyes more everyday... But by walking this freedom path I can now be real and true to myself and I can hope to live something different this Christmas time and, most importantly, in my life in general.
I am lucky, I know...I have amazing band mates and friends that are also fighting their own demons in order to be better friends and to love better... So this year, holiday season will be just another occasion to be together and to love each other. For the Holidays, we'll think of you by creating meals representing countries from all over the world, we'll take some risks by having Sef cook a turkey...lol...We'll take some time to have fun and rest...lol...ok maybe not rest...lol we'll remind ourselves of the year 2007 with great pride and so many touching memories...memories of you...your messages...your hearts...your pain...your passion...your face...your love...
If only you could realize you are a star, able to shine, able to rise, able to change darkness into a bright sky... if only you could realize you are not a lonely star... we are with you... Wherever you are during these holidays please know that we are carrying you in our hearts, you are not alone... But make yourself a gift this holiday season: give yourself the chance to change things in your own life, make a decision not to let yourself be the same for one more year, take a stand for your dreams, for your friends, for your future, believe that you are worth the love and the respect YFE gives you and more! Joy starts from the inside... and shines on the outside!
This year I don't wish you happiness...I encourage you to make a decision: chose life over fear, depression, addiction, self depreciation, mutilation... you don't know what life is and what love is all about? Let us try to love you...just like Your Favorite Enemies knows how to love and care...lol I love you.
Miss Isabel